The Silent Epidemic

For decades Michelle was prescribed a powerful anti-anxiety medication. Now, every day is a struggle with dependency to get off.

Michelle Calhan wakes up in pain every morning with chills, numbness, and electric pain running through every inch of her body. In this pain, she reflects on how her life has changed since February. “I donʼt want to go through this hell that I’m going to have to go through because of this medicine. I want to be this person that is inside of me,” said Michelle. Then she walks to her couch and begins her daily battle.

Michelleʼs journey began in her 20s when she was first prescribed Klonopin for her severe anti-anxiety medicine Benzodiazepines or Benzo as they are referred to a family that’s known most commonly for Xanax, Klonopin, and Valium. She has been since she is now in her fifties well beyond the four weeks that it starts to form dependency. Over that time her prescription rose to a high dosage of 4mL. Michelleʼs case is not an outlier. She is one of thousands who have been prescribed anxiety medications for long periods that were designed for short-term emergency usage. Klonopin is one of the most prescribed medicines according to the National Institutes of Health; about 1 in 20 adults received a Benzo prescription in 2008. More prescriptions are written each day. “Doctors love prescribing Benzos because it is the most efficient way to get a complaining patient out of the office in the shortest possible time,” said Allen Frances, a psychiatrist and former professor at Duke University. “The patient is very satisfied at the moment, but may go on to develop a devastating addiction.”

In early 2017, Michelleʼs bout with Klonopin took another turn as she developed severe acute withdrawal symptoms linked to tolerance she developed over time, and the constant dosing when these symptoms showed up helped grow her dependency on the drug.

When she reached her final dosage level her symptoms went away but she worried that it was a temporary fix for her anxiety and pain. She started doing her research and found a community of Facebook support groups and the forum website BenzoBuddies, which inspired her to wean off the drug after reading about other’s experiences with the drugs.

Recent attempts at quitting have been excruciating due to her dependency on the drug. As she drops her dosage more and more the struggle seems to increase this is made worse by her husband of seven years leaving and divorcing her and her son Cody leaving in the middle of the night. This leaves Michelle alone with no bread earner or experienced caretaker. This puts an added strain and anxiety on her and she has had to sell her home and move to her mother’s home in a tiny room where she feels completely abandoned.

Michelle Calhan

Michelle Calhan

A woman with gray hair tied in a ponytail, wearing earrings and a maroon shirt, is smoking a cigarette in a dimly lit room near a window with blinds and red curtains.

A woman with gray hair tied in a ponytail, wearing earrings and a maroon shirt, is smoking a cigarette in a dimly lit room near a window with blinds and red curtains.

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Close-up of a notebook page filled with handwritten notes highlighted in pink, with two pens, one pink and one black, resting on it.

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Close-up of a person's hand with four blue buttons on their wrist, wearing a gray and black striped long sleeve shirt.

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A woman with curly hair and hoop earrings is drinking water in a kitchen, seen through a wooden cabinet window. There are kitchen items on the counter and a bright window with striped curtains in the background.

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A person wearing a baseball cap and glasses holds their head with one hand in a moment of distress or contemplation. In the background, a young girl with glasses and braided hair is seen. The setting appears to be indoors with dim lighting.

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An older woman with blonde hair tied back in a ponytail is standing at a kitchen counter, looking to her left with a smile. She is wearing a multicolored fleece jacket. The kitchen has wooden cabinets, various kitchen items on the counter, and a small window with blinds.

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An elderly man and woman embrace on a residential front lawn in autumn, with trees and parked cars visible in the background.

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Various containers and objects on a cluttered surface, including jars, a measuring cup with a straw, a white appliance, a tin container, and a small dish, with a lamp in the background.

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A group of people standing in a living room, with a woman hugging another person, while others look on. In the background, through an open doorway, a kitchen and dining area are visible.

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A woman with curly blonde hair wearing a gray hoodie is sitting at a table, looking at something out of frame, in a warmly lit room. In the foreground, there's a glass jar with water and an electric blue band.

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A woman with curly blond hair covering her face with her hand, wearing a colorful tie-dye hoodie, looking at her phone in a home interior with a curtain, wall decorations, and electrical outlets visible.

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A man in a blue shirt and glasses sitting on a porch, looking down with his hands clasped, next to a white chair and decorated with string lights. A dog is inside the house near a sliding glass door, looking outside.

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Handwritten letter on white paper placed on a dark wooden surface, with brown marker scribbles over part of the text.

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Close-up of a small container with the brand name 'KASL' on it, held by a person's hand, placed on a granite countertop with a spoon nearby.

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People standing on a front porch decorated with autumn and Halloween decorations, including a wreath, pumpkins, and scarecrows. A woman with glasses is talking to another woman using a phone. The second woman is near a window, and a third person is in the foreground, out of focus.

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A woman and a girl sit on a couch by a window with sunlight coming in, the woman has blonde hair and is wearing a hoodie, the girl appears to be focused on a device she is holding.